I'm Not Your Friend!
by Dawnheart98
Summary: Shikamaru is stuck in a nightmare...getting his own squad? Will he learn to appreciate his subordinates, or will the poor young academy graduates be stuck with a lazy, grouchy squad leader?


Chapter One

"Stop being so lazy for once!"

Shikamaru set his jaw and kept his eyes cast downward. Waking up today was a pain. Getting dressed was a pain! The whole morning was a pain. The biggest pain of all was coming to the Hokage-sama's office and getting lectured about…something. What were they talking about, again?

"Shikamaru!" the Hokage said fiercely. "Are you even listening to me?"

_No_, Shikamaru thought. He wondered if he should put on an apologetic face, at least. He then thought it would be too much effort.

There was a knock on the door. The Hokage's sharp amber eyes flew to the wooden door.

"Come in!" she ordered.

The door opened slowly and in walked a pale eyed boy with long dark brown hair. He was wearing a plain white shirt, that he somehow rocked effortlessly, and his black headband was neatly above his forehead. A folded over cape was over his white pants. He was dressed simply, but it was practical.

Shikamaru nodded slightly at the Jonin, in recognition and greeting. The pale eyed boy nodded back in reply.

"Oh, you can acknowledge _him_, but not _me_?" the Lady Hokage muttered darkly, her small eyebrows narrowing. She looked up toward the long haired Jonin with a kinder expression. "Come in, Neji," she commanded, in a louder voice this time. Neji walked in and closed the door behind him. He stood next to Shikamaru, looking into the Lady Hokage's light brown eyes. _What_? He seemed to be asking with his pale gaze. The Hokage looked at him seriously, her amber eyes flashing.

"I will explain everything again," the Hokage said darkly, her small blonde eyebrows twitching grimly. "You'd do well to listen this time, Shikamaru."

Shikamaru felt himself feel ashamed at the rebuking. _Good….I have elevated to feeling emotions,_ now, he thought. He felt jolted awake by Neji's calm yet somehow _intruding_ presence. He raised his gaze to the Lady Hokage's in acknowledgement. The Hokage nodded in approval.

"The greatest service a ninja can do it to train the next generation of ninja," the Lady Hokage began slowly, eyeing the Jonin critically, but mostly Shikamaru. _What, why me? _Shikamaru thought defiantly. Then, he widened his small black eyes. _No, no…no, no, no, no, no._

"Both of you have exceptional skills," Tsunade-sama continued. Shikamaru felt his mind trying to go into auto shutdown mode, but he forced himself not to. He definitely did not like where this conversation was going, but he didn't have any other choice but to listen! He had to listen very carefully to Lady Tsunade, because he had to come up with a convincing argument to get him out of the ordeal. Shikamaru noticed the Lady Hokage glaring at him warningly. _Cripes! Does she already know what I'm going to do? _Shikamaru wondered. _Women, _he thought grudgingly. _They are so troublesome._

"You are going to be given one squad each," the Lady Hokage said. She looked at Shikamaru's pained expression, and her glance very plainly asked, "_Really?" _"It's not as bad as you are making it do be!" the Hokage-sama said, balling her right hand into a tight fist. Shikamaru tilted his head back a little in fear, his dark black eyes becoming a little smaller. He didn't want to be on the wrong end of that punch! He would much rather be laughing at the poor idiot who dared annoy the great Sannin of the Leaf, Tsunade. Unfortunately, he might _become_ that idiot…

"We are both extremely inexperienced at his," Neji said in his strong, but quiet voice. Shikamaru was glad that the Byakugan user was protesting this tribulation! If he was the only one, then the Hokage-sama would just blame it on his laziness…which was only half the story! He couldn't teach children…they were annoying! They just whined and couldn't do anything without guiding them every step of the way. And what's worse, one of the children would probably be a _girl_. Weren't they all troublesome? Shikamaru inwardly huffed at the injustice of it all. _Go, Neji!_ He silently cheered on the Byakugan user. _Get us out of this crap work! _

"Yes?" Tsunade-same replied evenly to Neji, her amber gaze critical and disdainful.

"Are you sure you want to entrust two squads to us?" Neji asked. "Those children would not get the best training."

Tsunadae shook her head sadly, and frowned. "Do you doubt your abilities as shinobi? Or as mentors?"

Neji and Shikamaru did not answer.

"If you are a shinobi, then you must train the next generation!" Tsunade said with passion. "It is your duty!" She coughed. "Now, then," she said, her voice low and serious. "If you never train a squad, you will never have a first squad."

"Obviously," Shikamaru muttered. _Oops._ It had just slipped out. He glanced at the Hokage with caution. Her brown eyes were wide at his quip. He hoped he hadn't added oil to the fire.

"I mean, you have to do things the first time before they become easy!" Tsunade-sama snapped, sounding a little frazzle. Shikamaru choked back a chuckle. Who was he to laugh at the Hokage? Laughing was too troublesome, anyway.

"We were just kidding," Neji said, exchanging a glance with Shikamaru at lightning speed. The ponytailed ninja knew that Neji was also holding back a laugh. He could see it in the pale eyes of the Hyuuga clan member.

"Kidding?" Tsunade-sama asked, her eyes widening with interest. "Good! I approve of this progress!"

Shikamaru widened his eyes a little, but in surprise, not interest. He saw the humor in the Hokage-sama's amber eyes, and he understood it. The fact didn't make the Hokage's quip any less embarrassing, though. Now he and Neji were the ones being made fun of. He glanced sideways at his comrade and saw the beginnings of a blush on his pale cheeks.

"There is no reason for you to worry," the Lady Hokage said in a way that signaled they were nearing the end of the conversation. "You will be trained by the best of the best! Then you will go to Iruka sensei for your assignments. I took great care in selecting the ninjas in your groups. Now go!"

Neji and Shikamaru looked at each other in dejection. They bowed to the Lady Hokage, who just waved them away impatiently in reply. Neji opened the wooden door and the two jonin walked out. Naruto was bustling down the hall, with an uncharacteristic serious expression on his tan, marked face, and Shikamaru smiled in greeting.

"Oi, Naruto, what's up?"

"Eh!" Naruto grinned at them in recognition. "Shikamaru! Nej! Why are you guys here?"

"We were summoned by the Lady Hokage," Shikamaru replied in a bit of a grumble.

"Oh, yeah, me too," Naruto grinned. "What did she say?"

Neji and Shikamaru glanced at each other. "We are going to get our squads of academy graduates…" Shikamaru said, his voice betraying every ounce of regret, despair, and disdain at the prospect. He was also disappointed at the fact that he had gotten out of bed this morning. What a rotten day it had turned out to be.

Naruto's electric blue eyes widened, and his grin grew bigger too. "What?" he asked. "For real? Awesome!"

Neji looked like Naruto had just suggested they go and eat some slugs outside the village. His expression was one that said: _What are you talking about…_ "What?" he asked. "You don't envy us, do you?"

"Boy, do I ever!" Naruto cried. "Do you know who you are training? Are they awesome?"

Shikamaru was extremely confused at the fact that Naruto seemed to want to celebrate. _Why_? Shikamaru though in contempt.

"Hey, I just had a great idea!" Naruto exclaimed. "I'll come with you guys!" He put an arm around each of his friends' shoulders and walked with them, directing them down the hall. "This is going to be so much fun! I can't wait to meet your apprentices!"

"Eh, N-Naruto?" Shikamaru asked, a sweat bead of confusion appearing at his forehead. "Didn't Tsunade-sama call you…?"

"Don't worry, it's just Granny Tsunade!" Naruto said, with a laid back expression. "Meeting your teams will be so much more fun!"

"NARUTO!" two loud female voices roared. Shikamaru cringed visibly, but Naruto just turned his head calmly. At the beginning of the hall were two highly aggressive kunochi, one blonde and one pinked haired one. Their eyes were half ovals of aversion. Naruto waved at them casually, looking pleased to see them.

"Oh, hey, Sakura-chan! What's up?"

The pink haired girl growled and ran towards Naruto.

"Bye, guys!" Naruto said to Shikamaru and Neji. "Good luck!"

"We should be wishing you good luck…" Neji said, glancing at Shikamaru. He looked a little guilty.

"That hug is going to hurt," Shikamaru agreed, wincing in pain for Naruto.

Naruto shrugged. Neji glanced at Shikamaru, and the ponytailed ninja nodded. Shikamaru took one last glance at Naruto, who was bracing himself with a brilliant smile. Shikamaru and Neji ninja leaped away before they could see Naruto get totally pulverized.


End file.
